How to Dumb-ify an Android

This is my almost fail-proof protocol for quitting mobile timesinks for good. It will walk you through disabling the Play Store and the Chrome browser. It does not merely disable them in settings, as they will no longer appear anywhere in settings and cannot be locally re-enabled. This renders your device incapable of accessing problem sites or apps without connecting it to a computer to re-install them. It may not be correct for all device vendors. The primary purpose of this guide is to let people know that it's possible and point them in the right direction.

Please be aware that some apps will not run without Google Play Services, which is the advertising and in-app payment API. This hasn't caused me any problems, personally, but test your authetication and payment apps for functionality so you aren't caught off-guard if any of them depend on it. Some workplaces issue physical authentication tokens, so in the unlikely event you do run into issues, it couldn't hurt to ask for one.

Root, if possible. Rooting is beyond the scope of this guide, but it is a good idea for reasons explained later. Then, download the Android Platform Tools from Google. Extract and open a terminal in the extracted folder, then run:

.\adb shell pm uninstall --user 0 com.android.vending
.\adb shell pm uninstall --user 0 com.android.chrome

If you need any apps in the future, you can sideload them. Alternatively, you can sideload the Aurora Store, a FOSS Play Store interface which uses the same files and allows you to log in anonymously. If you do this, be sure to both uninstall and delete the .apk file afterwards, or you risk cheating yourself.

If you couldn't root, then if I were you, I would stop readng and navigate off of this page. You don't want to know about the workaround we're about to disable for those who are rooted.

Extra step for rooted users

If you were able to root, get rid of the multi-user options. Chrome and the Play Store will always be installed for new users, so I strongly suggest you stop yourself from creating them.

.\adb shell su -c setprop fw.max_users 1
.\adb shell su -c setprop fw.show_multiuserui 0